It’s well-known that well-educated black women tend, on average, to have far better personalities than their white counterparts, despite facing tougher odds on the dating market. On the whole, they’re an exquisite and underrated group. There are a lot of cultural reasons for this and, subjectively speaking, some aesthetic ones too, but I’m going to explore an altogether different explanation.
I had an insight, about a week ago, when I encountered this Roissy post on an OkCupid study of race and reply rate. Black women get a substantially lower reply rate than women of other races: 34.3%, as opposed to 42.1%. Among men, whites get the highest reply rate– 29.2%. In fact, the only race-pairings where women reply more often involve black women, and there’s a 6%-gap between BW -> WM (32% reply rate) and WM -> BW (38%). As this study is controlled for facial attractiveness, and OkCupid is predominantly a site for educated, upper-middle-class people, it’s unlikely that there’s a nonracial (e.g. socioeconomic) component to this. Very unfortunately, some people just seem to be nervous about dating blacks.
On a side note, it’s interesting to note the American attraction to Middle Eastern women. White men, in the US– and speaking in very broad terms– are wary of blacks and adore Middle Easterners. In Europe, whites are wary of Middle Easterners (well, specifically, Muslims) and adore black women. All this shows is that mens’ supposedly purely aesthetic tastes in women are actually quite culture-bound.
I don’t mean to trivialize the severe social injustices inflicted upon American blacks by comparing them to the relatively mild ones that American men face today, but there are similarities between what these groups face on the social and dating markets. To be feared and distrusted because of one’s physical presence is something that most blacks, and most men, have faced, and also something most white women have never directly experienced. The bastardization of feminism that has metamorphosed into outright man-hating depicts men as violent, oversexed, unattractive, and unrefined– similar to American racism’s caricature of black people.
On the dating market, women generally have more value than men (as OkCupid’s differential in reply rates shows) but this is not nearly as true of black women, who exhibit a male likelihood of receiving replies. Let’s combine this bit of data with something most men have observed. Good-looking men, usually, aren’t douchebags. Some are, but nothing about the experience of a “7″ male is inherently corrupting. “Alphas” are douchebags, but those are a different set entirely; I know of plenty of seriously handsome men who have excellent personalities. Good-looking black women, as well, usually have great personalities. They’re funny, sweet, feisty, and virtuous. Among white women, it’s less common for one to be gorgeous and have a great personality. Average-looking, shy women are often very sweet, but the “bombshells” are often intolerable.
In fact, the correlations between attractiveness and personality seem to be different not only in magnitude, but in direction, for black and white women. Black women generally have better personalities as they are more beautiful, intelligent, and educated– in other words, as their “market value” climbs. White women tend to get worse as their SMV increases into the 7-10 range. Let’s explore the reason for this.
I’m going to pay homage to the crude practice of numerically rating attractiveness in order to make an assertion. The “sweet spot” of attractiveness that is most conducive to having a great personality is 6-8, for most racial/gender categories. I’ve rigorously defined these numbers (see the link) so that this represents the 72nd to 94th percentiles. This definitely seems accurate for men; most of the great guys are in this range, with men in the least desirable third being too bitter, dismal and defeated to be enjoyable company. Black women, in my estimation, are penalized half a point by the sexual market, putting this sweet spot up to 6.5-8.5 (78-97th percentiles). White women, on the other hand, get a 2-point bonus. In other words, we can expect the white women with the best personalities to be between 4-6, or the 43rd and 72nd percentiles. Beyond that 72nd-percentile mark, there is a precipitous drop. Thus, we’d expect that men within the 70-85th percentile range of sexual attractiveness to be the most unhappy, struggling to earn respect and decency from comparably attractive counterparts, often forced to choose between a great personality and a (moderately) beautiful woman, when they feel like they should have both. Indeed, this is the range of men in which the aggrieved “beta” males tend to reside.
We’re talking in aggregates here, so exceptions obviously exist. There are “9.5″ white women who are not haughty, of course, and there are average-looking men and black women who are. However, I think this SMV-derived explanation of the bearing of race and gender on certain social and sexual behaviors has a lot of validity.
That said, SMV is far from the only factor. Culture is also important. Asian women (who, if the concept of “race” still exists in 50 years, will be considered “white” by then) also get a 2-point bump, but a lot of them aren’t nearly as entitled or nasty as their white counterparts. The “sweet spot” of 6.5-8.5 among black women and 4-6 among whites seems to be 4.5-7.5 among Asian women. The reasons for this come from Asian culture and values rather than SMV. But culture is complex and qualitative, and much more difficult to analyze than the crude, blunt numerical instrument of SMV.
You just can’t help yourself, can you? You are going to get so hated on for writing this.
Here’s my turn to get hated on:
White women, on the other hand, get a 2-point bonus.
Absolutely! And this annoys most black women to no end. A white woman can be plain as all get-out and still be called “beautiful”. Whereas Naomi Campbell could walk by and they’d say, “Eh. She’s pretty for a black girl.” Or if they do admit that she’s gorgeous they say it sort of begrudgingly, as if it’s painful to push it out.
I’ve had American white women stop me on the street to tell me how beautiful I am (happens about once a month around here, daily when in Germany) and then ask the inevitable “Are you Mexican/Filipino/Turkish/Spanish?” question (which is REALLY why they stop me: curiosity). When I answer, “No, I’m black.” You should SEE their lips curl up in distaste. You can tell they wish they could revoke the compliment. I actually get the occasional, “But you’re too pretty to be black!” WTF?
In Germany they just smile and say, “Oh, then no wonder you’re so pretty.”
And white women can be totally fake: have all sorts of plastic surgery, weave (yes, white women wear weave they just call it “extensions”), straighten or perm or dye their hair, collagen, botox, plaster their face with makeup, etc. and people will point at them and say, “She’s beautiful.” Sure. I’m sure it’s all natural and she just wakes up looking like that every morning. *roll eyes* These are the same women I’m talking about who fall apart after having children. They stop putting in 2 hours of effort every morning and their looks just disintegrate.
Of course there are plenty of white women who are genuinely pretty but they usually fall into the 6-8 category (and those are the ones who seem most likely to keep it up later). Once you get to 9-10 it’s usually an “E” for effort, rather than natural good looks. In my opinion, the biggest difference between an 8 and a 9 is TIME. The 9 invests large amounts of time and energy in her appearance that the 8 may be investing (to a higher return) in her character or profession.
Some of these “hot” women look like they’ve been hit by the ugly stick in the morning. I didn’t know about that (my mother is white but she’s also a TRUE natural beauty — one of the most beautiful women I’ve ever seen IRL — and really DID wake up looking pretty good) until I joined a dance team. You should see how long it took the white girls to get ready in the morning! Blow driers, flat irons, tons of makeup, eyelash curlers, etc. Whereas all of the black and Asian girls just showed up looking normal but tired at 6am, took a shower after practice, got dressed, and looked normal. If I had extra time I’d put on some mascara and lip gloss before heading off to class. I used to sit and watch them do their “beauty thing” and was just absolutely fascinated by the whole process. I’d never seen anything like it before.
In Europe, whites are wary of Middle Easterners (well, specifically, Muslims) and adore black women. All this shows is that mens’ supposedly purely aesthetic tastes in women are actually quite culture-bound.
I’ve pointed this out numerous times but nobody seems to catch on. Glad to see that I’m not the only one who’s noticed.
That’s horrible! What do they have against a beautiful, intelligent black woman?
We’re an affront to everything they hold dear. We shouldn’t exist. Some will actually try argue the point with me, “Well aren’t REALLY black…” But I don’t converse with people like that.
I’ve had a white woman tell me that I’m beautiful then proceeded to say, “You’re goregous AND have a great personality. Most pretty black women, know it and you can’t tell them anything. They think the world revolves around them.”
The same woman also stated that she couldn’t tell that I was “black” on the phone.
I also have had problems at work because some white women thought that I was getting preferiential treatment by management/owners. They made it a point to make my life H*@l.
I think the mentality is that we are automaticially 2 or 3 points behind and it’s disturbing to SOME when we have valued qualities.
It’s important to note that this doesn’t apply to all white women.
It’s important to note that this doesn’t apply to all white women.
Yes, not all of them are like that. Most probably aren’t. But the ones that are like that are awfully present.
“You’re gorgeous AND have a great personality. Most pretty black women, know it and you can’t tell them anything. They think the world revolves around them.”
In other words, “You’re not uppity!” *roll eyes*
Black and German,
“You should SEE their lips curl up in distaste. You can tell they wish they could revoke the compliment. I actually get the occasional, “But you’re too pretty to be black!” WTF?”
I can’t believe people actually say that! Is there a certain “type” in which this view is more common? Another words, do these comments come from uneducated, lower-class women?
To me, those are the worse because they are not held in high esteem like their other white peers, but they still feel a certain entitlement because of their color.
How do people react to you and your husband?
How do people react to you and your husband?
They don’t really say anything. But that might be because he bears a slight resemblance to Arnie. He can do a convincing imitation, too. “I’ll be back.”
You just don’t annoy someone who looks like a Bavarian brick wall and has a temper like an angry bull. You politely step aside and leave a wide berth. To tell you the truth, he could marry Quasimodo and nobody would comment. Or live to tell about it. LOL.
do these comments come from uneducated, lower-class women?
Sometimes but the worst culprits are the “genteel” older women. Perhaps they feel they’ve earned the right to say whatever they want.
LOL! Well, the reason why I asked is because I know a woman who worked as a saleslady at Victoria’s Secret and she was the only black. She was in a relationship with a white man who would go in and buy her tons of merchandise. One time he went in and told the other’s that he was her boyfriend.
She said, though they were not overly friendly to start, but after that, they REALLY excluded her (from Christmas parties, lunch runs) and wouldn’t even talk to her. The treatment was so hurtful that she eventually quit.
Now, I know several of women in interracial relationships (I was in one as well) but never heard of anything to this extent.
I can only think of one time that I’ve experienced this. I was dating a guy who was the president of a frat and during parties when we would walk past the line of people waiting to get in, some of the girls would make catty comments but nothing on that level.
Do you find that you experience this?
“Sometimes but the worst culprits are the “genteel” older women.”
Oh yes, I could I forget.
Oh and you should feel very protected when your out with your man.lol
I do.
I find it difficult to make friends here. But I think I’d have that problem even if my husband were black. Since I’m at home with the kids most of the time I avoid a lot of that stuff.
I do get the occasional “Wow. He’s good looking.” when they meet my husband. As if they expected him to be unattractive and undesirable, for whatever reason.
But I think they cut us some slack because we’re “foreigners”.
Occam’s razor says that men just don’t find black women as attractive as members of other races. Life is not fair.
I also like how your post begins with “gosh, what is with all this racism” and then moves on to “now let me tell you about how worthless those white bitches are!“
Don’t make universal statements by projecting your own personal preferences on everyone else, Cless. It is certainly not “well-known” that black women have better personalities than equally educated white women. That’s your perception of the matter, nothing more.
You’re right. I’m stating an opinion that I and most people I encounter, and consider familiar with the matter, share as it if were objective fact, and it’s obviously not so.
However, I think most of the negative black caricatures apply to the uneducated ones, and that the reverse is often true of educated blacks. Most intelligent people can make the distinction.
I know women with good and bad personas from various races and classes/intellects. I don’t think it’s productive, really, to generalize on that basis.
Of course, but I think there are aggregate differences and it’s interesting to examine the cultural reasons for them.
In Europe, whites are wary of Middle Easterners (well, specifically, Muslims)
It’s no wonder. In worst case scenario, guy can actually be killed for dating a muslim girl. And even if he’s not, he may be endangering life of his girl friend. Honor killings are not so very rare among many muslim communities…
I know German guys who won’t even glance at a Turkish girl. They don’t want to get their butt kicked so they treat the women as invisible and asexual.
And I know a Turkish girl whose family disowned her for marrying a German guy. They harassed her for years, spray painting “SLUT” on her car windshield, stalking her, leaving threatening phone calls, etc. They finally had to move just to get away from her relatives.
She’s still the lucky one – she’s alive. There are too many girls that face much, much worse treatment from their families…
Wow. That’s horrible. My friend (American) dated a Turkish woman who lived in Ankara. She must have been from a very liberal family.
Is that common with Turks in Europe? No wonder there was so much resistance to letting them in the EU.
Ankara is a more liberal place. Most of the Turks in western Europe are actually descendants of those who emigrated in the 1950s as “guest workers”. They kept “themselves to themselves”, haven’t really moved on culturally from then, and are generally less liberal than the newer arrivals. The reasons for this are varied and not all of them are the fault of the Turks. The way the German education system is set up plays a big role, for example.
Yes, the way the Turks treat their women is one of the MAJOR bones of contention among the Germans who are against EU-entrance. But my experience has been that the Turks in Germany are generally LESS LIBERAL than those in Turkey, at least in the bigger Turkish cities (there are some true backwaters out near the Kurdish areas).
Again, you’re drifting towards racism here.
Basically, you’re saying: “white women aren’t as naturally beautiful as black/asian/mixes/anything-other-than-white women are”. It’s similar to what you were saying the other day about how “monoethnic” people are “limited” and “boring”. Isn’t it convenient how your perceptions about these matters elevate yourself while disparaging whites? Sorry, but I don’t see that as coincidental.
Most of the professional black women I have known(all with degrees) are pushy and very entitled bitches. I.E. just like every white women out there. Honestly, I don’t think black women are any different from white women beyond the fact they have a harder time landing a guy.
“I don’t think black women are any different from white women beyond the fact they have a harder time landing a guy.”
We do?
Of course you don’t. The reasons for that I have yet to surmise.
Considering that I am 3/4 white (if you can divide people up by fractions) any disparaging of the “white race” (whatever that is) would apply to myself as well.
Perhaps I should rephrase the remark to “Of course there are plenty of women who are genuinely pretty” but the remark was in the middle of a passage about white women* in particular, not women in general. I have written EXTENSIVELY on black women’s beauty and there’s plenty of that to read over at Abagond’s.
Unlike most people (including, I suspect, yourself) I believe and have observed that beauty is spread equally among the various races and I refuse to rate one race “higher” than another. I do not think black women, in general, are better looking than women of any other race but rather that their beauty is underrated.
As for myself, I’ve experienced the strange dichotomy of my “beauty rating” in Europe and America. An objective observer would probably rate me a 7 or an 8 but in Europe I am often rated a 9 or even 10 purely for novelty and in America I am rated an 8 but am dropped quickly to a 6 (the typical “pretty for a black girl” category) if they know my race. My own experience tells me that such “beauty ratings” are completely subjective and linked to preconceived ideas about race.
My second hypothesis (which you didn’t comment on) is:
the biggest difference between an 8 and a 9 is TIME. The 9 invests large amounts of time and energy in her appearance that the 8 may be investing (to a higher return) in her character or profession
What I’m getting at is that there are just as few NATURAL 9′s among black women or Asian women as among white women but that some additional white women manage to push themselves up a level through sheer exertion. They go under the knife, have poison injected in their faces, starve themselves, spend hours every day at the gym, have their makeup tattooed on, etc. There’s nothing wrong with that (it’s a free country) but it baffles me that that is not generally recognized.
* Please note that when I say “white women” I mean “American women of European descent”.
Yes. This is essentially it. No one is trying to argue that there aren’t gorgeous white women out there.
“well-educated black women ”
Where does that label come from?
Some people cant afford to pay for college because it is too expensive.
College costs alot of money and some people dont have the money and they cannot afford to get into to debt to pay for the college, that’s life.
It sounds like white men are now saying that a black woman has to have an expensive flashy college degree in order to be seen as a woman and an attractive human being that is worthy of love.
I don’t see why they do that, when there are white men running to Eastern Europe to pick up any white girl they can and most of those girls are poor with no fancy degree and they still get married anyway just because they are white.
Of course some white men will marry a black woman ONLY IF she is rich and has a fancy Ivy League degree, because in their minds that makes up for the fact that the woman is black…Which is why Gabriel Aubry is with Halle Berry, because Halle is RICH and she makes herself look white enough so Gabriel can be comfortable with her.
Gabriel would NEVER be with a poor black lady but he would be with a poor white girl.
Many black women work themselves to death trying to pay for expensive fancy degrees, thinking once they get the fancy degree that a man will love them and marry them.
Many get the degrees and still men do not come to them and they complain about being single.
While poor white women from Bosnia and Russia get put up on the runway and married in droves….
The “educated black woman” label can go away,
Its just another way for white men to make black women feel like they are not smart enough or worthy enough, unless the white people say so.
I wouldn’t marry an uneducated black woman, but I wouldn’t marry an uneducated white or Asian woman either. For the record, educated doesn’t require a college degree. I have ancestors who were poor Irish immigrants who had never set foot in a college classroom but were still more articulate and well-read than most Ivy grads today. It happens that most intelligent, educated people have college degrees, but not 100% of them do (and many with elite degrees aren’t educated or smart).
The reason I qualified this analysis with “educated” is because I really don’t know anything about the average white or black person. I’m from a privileged background, and what I observe centers on people who generally are well-educated.
Can you answer this question directly, rather than just bloviating about “the white man”: I am telling you that I’m a white man who finds black women beautiful, not in an objectifying sense, but with admiration. I would readily marry a black woman, and I would do so for the same reason I’d marry a woman of any other race– out of love.
Why is it that you find this so hard to believe? Why do you distrust all whites?
I don’t have a degree. Dropped out after 2 years and moved to Europe. But I still consider myself “educated”.
Paris Hilton is from a priveleged background and she has GED. She never went to college but you don’t hear anyone criticizing her calling her “un-educated” just because she is white and rich.
But you do hear white people calling black people stupid all the time and expecting black people to thank them for it.
Anyone can be intelligent and smart THAT is up to the person individually, BUT if they don’t have the money to pay for college then they get called “un-educated.”
I think that’s stupid, it sounds like white people think that everyone is rich and everyone has equal amounts of big money.
As if whites think everyone is supposed to automatically go to college and get a flashy degree and if they don’t then that makes them a bad person and less than human.
IF they had the money to pay for the already over priced schools then they would go!
Whites created and control the economy we live in so they should know that black people don’t have big money because they structured the economy to make sure blacks have the least amount of the big pie.
And white men marry “un-educated” white women all the time!
You people have websites, agencies and programs dedicated to marrying and dating poor white women from Europe and Eastern Europe especially.
It could be a white woman from a uranium zone in Chernobyl with no teeth and no grade schooling but just because she is white you would marry her.
But if that was a black woman you would complain that she is un-educated and poor! What a joke!
Why is it that you find this so hard to believe? Why do you distrust all whites?
Oh god, why would I trust whites?
Trust people that used my family members like cows and raped my female family! ha!
Trust people that still allow the ku klux klan and thousands of other white Nazi groups to function after saying “racism is over its not that bad.”
I don’t pretend like I don’t know when somebody wants me dead, and whites have wanted to destroy all of us since they kidnapped us from Africa.
Whites use negative media to psychologically abuse the minds of black people and to uplift white people.
That’s why there are very little black models in the world, because whites want to make the message clear that in their mind black women are not beautiful like white women are. Only white women can be pretty and desired and loved.
Black women are looked as as anomalies and strange creatures that are not the norm when they are presented as models but white models are considered avergae norma because all white women are put up on a pedestal and seen as the most beautiful.
And because black babies come from our womb, doctors love to make sure that black women get the most abortions because THEIR world is only meant for “superior white aryan” babies.
Whites do not want black people being born that’s why they hate black women the most, because we produce black people.
You must be really old! Can you share any anecdotes about your life during the Civil War?
Because they are black, and therefore Special? Or is there some actual reason? By the way, I’m sure that if I had written this same thing before you did, but with the races reversed, you or someone else would have immediately accused me of racism. That’s actually exactly what happened when I said in the other thread that I don’t find black women attractive.
You say a lot of things in your post that would be immediately labeled racism if the races were reversed.
Considering the race politics in the US, this is hardly suprising.
“on October 20, 2009 at 6:21 pm | Reply someone
Trust people that used my family members like cows and raped my female family! ha!
You must be really old! Can you share any anecdotes about your life during the Civil War?”
And you must be another loudmouth whiteboy from Stormfront.
White men don’t find black women attractive because they hate their black skin that IS racism
because you only base your attraction upon skin color.
But you expect everyone to think you are cute just because you are white, while you run around calling all black people ugly!
YOU are ugly.
A racist accusing someone else of racism. How amusing.
No, I base it on attractiveness.
Where have I expressed such an expectation? And where have I said that all black women are ugly?
on October 20, 2009 at 7:02 pm | Reply someone
And you must be another loudmouth whiteboy from Stormfront.
A racist accusing someone else of racism. How amusing.
White men don’t find black women attractive because they hate their black skin that IS racism
because you only base your attraction upon skin color.
No, I base it on attractiveness.
But you expect everyone to think you are cute just because you are white, while you run around calling all black people ugly!
Where have I expressed such an expectation? And where have I said that all black women are ugly?”
No i’m not a racist, because I don’t walk around thinking I am superior to everyone just because i am white, like you skinhead punks do.
The only reason whiteboys like you come to these sites is to call black women ugly to make yourself feel better.
YOU are ugly, don’t expect me to kiss your butt just because you are white.
You insult me, i’ll insult you, you aint nothing to me.
You base your decision of women on skin color not on love or attractiveness. That is racism.
You would only marry a woman if she had white skin color, therefore you are marrying the skin color and not the seeing the woman as a person.
Which is what racism is about, de-humanizing the black people and using their skin color as the reason for it.
And yet you keep presenting racist views and opinions.
How would you prove your random assertion that I am a skinhead?
There’s that racism again.
Thanks for the info, Dr. Phil.
Where have I expressed such an expectation?
The only one here who’s insulting people is you.
No, I’m pretty sure I base it on attractiveness, and I am also pretty sure that you couldn’t possibly prove otherwise. Even if I did base it on skin color, how would that be racism? It would be no different from choosing blondes over brunettes.
I’m not interested in white women, I’m interested in Asian women. And how is being selective in terms of appearance in any way mutually exclusive with also being interested in the woman’s personality? Sounds like you’re the one who’s only consideration is skin color.
I’m not interested in white women, I’m interested in Asian women. And how is being selective in terms of appearance in any way mutually exclusive with also being interested in the woman’s personality? Sounds like you’re the one who’s only consideration is skin color.”
Yeah again, typical white man.
You pick asian women because they look close enough to being a white woman: Straight hair and white skin.
You are only concerned with making sure you never be with anyone unless they have white skin and straight hair.
That’s why u picked anything but a black woman, you choose asians, typical white man.
White men will accept a toothless hag as long as she is white.
A white man married canadian serial killer Karla Homolka AFTER she was released from jail for rape, torture and murder.
AND they have a child together, she is free now living in Canada.
If a black woman has a criminal record no one would want to marry her…
BUT as long as the woman is white its ok that she killed several people, she is still marriage material just because she’s white.
Shows you the hatred of whites, a white man would rather marry a white serial killer than a black woman with no record.
Alright, will you stop with the guilt trip. Get over if dudes don’t find you attractive.
Her ex-husband Paul Bernardo was a serial rapist and murderer. Together they raped and killed a couple of girls. And then for Paul’s B-day, Karla drugged and molested her own sister because Paul liked Karla’s sister and wanted her for his b-day.
After that they killed Karla’s sister.
He is doing life in prison and she did 15 years i think because she told on Paul, she’s out free now.
Karla is married has a kid and lives free.
Now you know if you are black and you rape and murder several people, aint NOBODY gonna marry your ass. AND they ain’t gonna let you out of prison either.
White privilege and white hatred at its best.
Its to odd for me to keep hearing this “black women” have a hard time finding a man deal. I’m a dark-skinned black female and I DON’T have a hard time finding dates and boyfriends. In fact, I’m taken right now. Also, you can’t base your “findings” on a online internet dating poll. It’s just not real life and so many things can influence these “results”.
I wish you could see the double takes/stares/corny small talk I get when I’m out(from mostly white dudes!) . I also got asked out a substantial amount of times at every job I worked at(from black AND white guys). I always had a lot of admirers in high school as well. My parents knew this and basically wouldn’t allow me to date(since I went to a private school, they always made sure my uniform was too big for me so it would hide my curves) until I was an adult.
But I just prefer and am more sexually drawn to black men. Its just how I feel. When I see a white man, its just no sexual want. Its just void and nothing there when I come in contact with them. I just don’t get that “Damn, I just want to jump his bones” feeling. Thats the best way I can describe it.
I’m just tired of these types of artcles. Its just simply untrue.
I agree with the last comment from Marcie. I’m multi-racial but am mainly of one background, and feel the same way. When a guy from another race is attracted to me, which is usually the case… I just don’t feel any sexual desire for him. Like Marcie mentioned… I just feel “void.” I like people who resemble the majority of my own background. That’s just my preference. It can be very scary because when I politely say I’m not interested in a guy of another race, I’ve had experiences where they’ll yell at me or blame me for racism. True, it’s racism, but I won’t sleep with just Any guy who likes my appearance just to look politcally correct. P l e a s e. I’m all for equal opportunity but not when it comes to letting any random guy touch me on my “no nos” area. Sorry but hell no. I’m drawing the Line there. We all have opinions on who we find physically attractive and we all have a right to decline offers for dates as well. Just my opinion. Oh.. here’s an example of someone I’m not that “into” who is too “into” me… Sometimes I have to use the bus, and unfortunately I’ll run into this guy named Gabriel. His background/race is different than my own and I’m just not attracted to him physically for that reason. He puts me off but he’s very attracted to me because he tries to call/text often and even once followed me off the bus (even though he doesn’t live near me) to my house… claiming he wanted to walk me safely home. I was nice enough to tell him I don’t feel the same about him but he called me too much so I changed my number. Luckily he has not come by my house again. Also, he can’t speak English and sounds like a moron. I’ll say how we can be “platonic friends” and he’ll say “What’s platonic mean??” then he’ll laugh like an illiterate simpleton (and No he’s not joking. He really doesn’t have much of a vocabulary.) It’s a shame he has a lisp because him not knowing more than one syllable words was bad enough, but the lisp doesn’t help.
Well, it’s nice that you realize that racial social status impacts attractiveness. This is something that black women should change. We can reinvent our brand by adding value to it instead of simply observing things but doing nothing about it. In terms of things that women are value on: looks (longterm); successful child rearing; mate quality; etc. let’s improve things for ourselves. It won’t be an overnight process but over time with consistency, things will pay off.
Well, I’ve always seemed to attract men of differences races, but unlike you ladies, I find other races of males attractive. How could I not?