For the edification of the Cless Alvein-reading public, I’m going to describe my ideal woman, from least important to most important criteria.
Race/skin color: Although I blog often about racial issues as they pertain to the gender situation, this is the least important category by far. I’m only listing it as an item here because the topic gets so much discussion. There are women of all races I’d consider myself immensely privileged to date and marry. That said, I’m slightly more attracted to dark skin than light, and find dark-skinned Asians and blacks especially attractive. I’d say that my ideal woman is half-black, half-Irish, an “island girl” who split her formative years between Ireland and the Caribbean. Sanaa Lathan with Dolores O’Riordan‘s accent. Wow… Of course, combining Sanaa and Dolores in any fashion would break the universe in Large
Hardo Hadron Collider fashion, since the world wouldn’t be able to handle that much beauty.
Appearance: I’m a major fan of the “girl-next-door” look— a pony tail, T-shirt, jeans and sandals are fine by me. No need to wear makeup. I like wavy, raven-black hair and large pupils. I prefer small-to-medium, high and perky breasts. There’s no need, in my mind, for women to be super-thin. Strong but not visible abs are ideal. A little bit of belly fat is beautiful (her stomach should be flat when she stands but soft when she sits). Ideal height is 5’8 and ideal weight is 140-145 pounds, with substantial musculature. My preferred age is 23-24, but my desired “age gap” will probably increase as I get older. (I’m 26.)
Politics: Bush Republicans are out. Rand-ite objectivists are out. Racists and homophobes are out. For libertarians and conservative-leaning independents, I tend to take them on a case-by-case basis. However, I’d prefer a woman whose politics are generally liberal, but more pragmatic, somewhat more centrist, and less hopelessly idealistic than mine.
Intelligence: This is obviously extremely important, but the kind of intelligence is more crucial than the amount of it. My IQ’s 152, but 125 is enough for me. Ideal is probably 135-140, but creativity, curiosity, and drive are substantially more important than raw intelligence. Since I’m looking for a complement rather than a twin, I’d rather marry a literature or philosophy major than another math/science person.
Ambition: She should have hobbies or interests about which she is passionate– sports, political activism, spirituality, musical instruments– and she should constantly be striving to improve herself. She should have an existence that is independent of mine. Her level of career ambition can be anywhere from very modest– if she wants to be a housewife, it’s not a dealbreaker as long as she’s an active housewife– to extremely dedicated, but selfish yuppies (e.g. investment bankers and “biglaw” lawyers) are out. If she’s going to be working more than 40 hours per week, it should be for something worth believing in– fighting poverty, social justice, the arts, education– and not for status or money as an end in itself.
Past experience: This is an area where I’m somewhat unforgiving. Any one-night stands are a deal-breaker, as is anything that smells of sex with an “alpha”. I really dislike such men and view it as disloyalty for a woman to sleep with one. I’d prefer a woman to have had 2-4 loving relationships before me, with no sex outside of those, and for all of those relationships to be conclusively over.
Religion/spirituality: This is crucial. I will only marry a woman of faith. I’ve actually turned down an almost-ideal woman (“off-by-one”) because she was an atheist. I could date, sleep with, and even raise children with an atheist. But I don’t want to face aging and death (mine, or hers) with one and, in my mind, there needs to be a damn good reason for marriage to be anything less than “unto death”. Her specific religion (Christian, Jewish, Buddhist) is not nearly as important as the depth of her spirituality. I want someone who will force me to explore new aspects of life, myself, and her. So spirituality is a major turn-on. On the other hand, theological intolerance and conservative politics are dealbreakers. A Buddhist or a Friend (Quaker) would probably be best.